


(You Look A Lot Like My) Next Boyfriend

by SmashAndCas



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Dallas Stars, M/M, Not Everyone Is A Hockey Player
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 06:50:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18823333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmashAndCas/pseuds/SmashAndCas
Summary: Tyler is a little (okay, a lot) drunk and thinks Jamie is a little (okay, a lot) hot.





	(You Look A Lot Like My) Next Boyfriend

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive me for this mess. If you or someone you know are tagged I kindly suggest you take a U-turn at the next exit. The title comes from Lauren Alaina's song of the same name. Pay no mind to the fact that the hockey players in the fic don't actually play for the Stars anymore *heart breaks all over again*.

"Chubbs! Get your ass in gear, we're leaving in twenty minutes. And I swear to all that is holy I will throw you so far under the bus if Daddy bitches at us for being late again."

Jamie closes out of his editing software with a sigh as he shouts his response, "Fine. But we're leaving at midnight. I have three sessions to finish in the next two days." 

Jordie pops his head through the door of Jamie's studio office and tosses a shirt in his direction, "Wear this and those jeans that make your ass look good." 

"Why are you so invested in my ass and how it looks? You need to work on your priorities." 

The bearded wonder shrugs, "Just trying to get all the boys in your yard, my dude. Big brother responsibilites and shit like that. It’s in the handbook." 

Rolling his eyes, Jamie saves his work and powers off his desktop. He stands, pushing in the chair and stepping towards Jordie with a wry smile, "I can get boys to my yard just fine, _thank you very much_."

Jordie snorts and holds up his hands, "Of course, remind me of the last date you went on? If I recall correctly, it was that douchenozzle Blake. Didn't he try to steal your wallet?" 

Jamie winces, "Yeah, alright, that one was a disaster. Don't remind me." 

Clapping Jamie on the back, Jordie shoves Jamie towards the door, "C'mon. Let's go get you beautiful. I know it's a lot of work." 

Turning, Jamie lands a solid punch on Jordie's shoulder, "Fuck you too Phillip Jordan." 

Jordie grins and darts up the stairs, "That's my name baby, don't wear it out."

Jamie hits the lights and trails Jordie, "Are you twelve? Jesus Jord, your comebacks need some work." 

"Just for that, I'm not buying your drinks tonight you fucker." 

Laughing, Jamie shoves at Jordie from behind, "Yeah right. You love flaunting that black card, Mr. NHL." 

Jordie turns around at the top of the stairs and grins, "Says the guy who gets free drinks out of the deal." 

Heading down the hallway towards his bedroom, Jamie holds up his middle finger, "Just shut up and order the Uber please. I'm not dragging your drunk ass home in my truck."

Jordie reponds with a salute of his own, "Aye aye Captain!"

*****

Tyler is three drinks in and has lost count of the shots that have been given to him. He scans the crowded bar, searching for a familiar face as the bartender hands him drink number four. His eyes laser in on the reason he's two, not quite three, sheets to the wind. Making a beeline towards the duo in the back, Tyler grins and holds up his glass as he approaches, "Sharpy! My man, my dude, my buddy. You are so pretty, y'know. 's anyone ever told you that before?" Tyler is sure that he's the first person who's mentioned it. 

Sharpy grins and knocks his drink against Tyler's, "Segs, you're drunk and I'm pretty. These are just the facts of life." 

Tyler nods seriously, "Mmm. And smart, don't forget you're smart." 

Daddy leans in, "You know he's married, right? Wife, kids, the whole kit and kaboodle." 

Giggling, Tyler shakes his head up and down rapidly, "And his babies are so pretty too." 

Sharpy melts a little at the mention of his girls and he pulls out his phone to show off the latest pictures.

"They're just growing so fast, everytime I come home from a roadie they've changed a little bit." Tyler leans his head against Sharpy's shoulder and makes a noise of sympathy, "I feel the same way about my sons." 

"Tyler, you have dogs. Mine are human." 

Scoffing, Tyler picks his head up and levels Sharpy with an intense, drunken stare, "Jus' cause my boys have four legs instead of two doesn't mean they're any less special." 

Daddy chokes back a laugh and stands, "I need to be drunker to deal with your ass Segs, I'mma go get more booze. Jordie'll be here soon. I think he said Jamie might come too." 

Sharpy's eyes light up, "No fuckin' way. Darth actually managed to convice Jamie to come out past 9 pm?" 

Tyler groans, "I thought this was guys night, no girlfriends allowed. What a bummer." 

Daddy grins and claps a hand on Tyler's shoulder, "Tyler, Jamie is Jordie's brother. Not his girlfriend." 

Tyler's brows furrow, "Jordie has a brother?" 

"How have you never heard us mention Jamie? Do you listen to anyone besides yourself?" Daddy shoves at Tyler and disappears towards the bar.

"I listen to you, Sharpy. You're too pretty to ignore." Tyler sucks down the last of his drink and stands. 

Sharpy chuckles, "I'm flattered, now sit your ass back down." 

"Nah, I gotta piss. I'll be right back." Wobbling away from the table, Tyler presses a hand to the wall and waits for the room to stop spinning before he completes his trek towards the bathroom. 

Tyler only loses his balance once while using the bathroom so he counts it as a win. And he washed his hands, like a fucking gentleman, thank you very much. 

He's about to head back to the table and shove his hands in Daddy's face but is distracted by the sight of the hottest dude he's ever laid eyes on, _no offense Sharpy_.

Aforementioned dude is leaning against the bar, and Tyler can't take his eyes off of him. 

Glancing in the direction of the table, Tyler sees that Jordie has arrived and Tyler should probably go back and say hello and finally meet Jordie's brother that he apparently has, _who knew_ , but fuck that noise, not when there's a literal angel standing in front of him. 

Tyler tugs his shirt down and runs a hand through his hair as he weaves through the crowd. 

Lord almighty, the ass on this guy is a sight to behold. Tyler needs to know the brand of jeans he's wearing and write the company a thank you card. 

There's not a lot of room on either side of Tall Drink of Water, but Tyler is nothing if not determined and he squirms his way in until he's next to the handsome stranger. 

"Oh, sorry, uhm, let me, I'll just scoot over." There's a faint blush on his cheeks as Tyler gets far too close and personal to just be ordering a drink at the bar.

"Don't move on my account, I'm perfectly fine right here, thank you." Tyler smiles and arches a dark brow. 

Tall Drink of Water gapes at Tyler before the blush deepens and he ducks his head, "Okay. I'll stay. Here, then. I guess." 

"You know, you look really familiar..." The handsome face furrows into confusion and Tyler barrels on before he loses his moment. 

Tyler waits a beat and continues, "Yeah, I know why. You look a lot like my next boyfriend." 

There's a brief moment where Tyler wonders if he's gonna get punched before the man in front of him bursts into laughter. Full on, gut busting laughter. And Tyler would be a little stung by the rejection if it wasn't the greatest sound he'd ever heard. 

"I'm Tyler, by the way, but you can call me boyfriend if you want." Tyler knows his smile is a good one, and he's not above using it. 

"I think I'll stick with Tyler for now, but thanks." There's a hand reaching for his and Tyler takes it, shakes and holds on a beat longer than necessary. 

"What's your na-." Tyler is cut off by a loud shout from behind him, "JAMIE! You made it!" 

Tyler feels the world get a little bit smaller as the one and only Patrick Sharp embraces his _next boyfriend_ in a tight hug. 

"Ahh, I see you met Segs. Don't worry about him, he doesn't bite." 

Jamie's grin is predatory as he gives Tyler a quick once over, "Yeah, we've met." 

Tyler wants to eat him for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 

"You're Jordie's brother?" 

"Yeah, I'm Jamie. Nice to meet you, _Tyler_." Tyler would do several illegal things to hear Jamie say his name like that on a daily basis.

Sharpy glances between the two of them and rolls his eyes, "Oh God. Tyler already hit on you, didn't he? Jesus. Somebody bring me a drink when you two finish flirting." 

Tyler tugs his bottom lip between his teeth and watches Jamie's eyes track the movement, "You might be waiting a while." 

Sharpy disappears and Tyler could care less because he's got the full force of Jamie's stare on him now, "So, I look a lot like your next boyfriend, huh?" 

Tyler nods, "Exactly like him, the resemblance is uncanny, really." 

Jamie grins and presses a little closer to Tyler, "There's just one little problem here, Tyler." 

Frowning, Tyler moves to take a step back but Jamie holds firm, wrapping a hand around Tyler's bicep. 

"I seem to have lost my phone number, but maybe you can give me yours?" 

Tyler's eyes snap up to Jamie's and he can't contain the smile that threatens to break his face, "You know, I'm not a photographer, but I can picture you and me together." 

Jamie holds up his hands in surrender, "I know exactly one terrible pick up line, and I'm clearly up against a master." 

Tyler smirks, "What do you mean "terrible"? It worked, didn't it?" 

Jamie pulls out his phone, taps the screen a few times and hands it to Tyler, "I don't know, did it?" There's a new contact page with Boyfriend listed as the name and Tyler grins as he types in his number before pressing the save button and handing it back to Jamie. 

Moments later he feels a buzz from his back pocket and he shoots Jamie a smirk as he retrieves his phone. 

There's a new message from an unknown number, 

_For the record, I am a photographer... and I can definitely picture you and me together._

**Author's Note:**

> *shrugs* I have no idea what just happened...


End file.
